


Of Recklessness and Water

by dysphorie



Series: drabble drabble, bitch bitch [8]
Category: John 5 (Musician), Marilyn Manson (Band), Slipknot (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Ferris Wheels, First Dates, First Kiss, Hot Chocolate, Idealism, Idk it's just tooth-rotting fluff, M/M, Pining, Synesthesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:01:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27032341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dysphorie/pseuds/dysphorie
Summary: "There's something about first kisses in winter..."Or, a semi-autobiographical not-quite-self-insert attempt at putting a purely synesthetic feeling into words via real-person fiction
Relationships: John 5/Jim Root
Series: drabble drabble, bitch bitch [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1488107
Comments: 18
Kudos: 15





	Of Recklessness and Water

**Author's Note:**

> This is just...a kinda think-piece. I just get this feeling at certain times of year and this year it's just kind of stronger than usual, and I figured, why not try to get it out? Don't ask me why, I don't have a reason, I just...did
> 
> Title from "nightswimming" by R.E.M. It's not really lyrically related, but if you listen to it...that's what this fic and the feeling it describes SOUNDS like. Just thought that might help

There's something about first kisses in winter.

Whether it's the cold making cuddling up together practically essential, or the inherent romance in twinkle lights and snowflakes, there’s something about it that makes Jim feel giddy and light. It sounds so lame, but winter, and December in particular, reminds Jim of the beginnings of things, of the best days you can remember, and the kinds of memories that live in your heart forever. Just idealistic halcyon days where everything seems a little closer to perfect. Winter is sweet, and innocent, and full of... _potential._

Jim meets John at the subway station, both at least fifteen minutes earlier than they said they’d meet, and Jim’s instantly charmed by the fact that the tip of John’s nose is already winsomely pink. Shy _hello's_ are exchanged and Jim leads the way as they head towards the Christmas Market with small talk in full effect. Their hands don't exactly brush thanks to their height difference, but John seems to find little excuses to touch Jim or tug his hand; to point out a stall selling hand-knitted sweaters that remind John of 90s Benetton knitwear that Jim had blissfully forgotten, to catch Jim right before he bangs his head on a sign while distracted by the biggest wheel of cheese he's ever seen. Every time they touch they pull away but linger longer and longer, until Jim finally reaches down to take John's hand under the guise of leading him away from the cheese before he compromises his vegan beliefs. John doesn’t let go after that. It sends _that feeling_ up Jim's arm and into his chest; an odd sort of contentment found in John's warm gloved hand.

The idea of ice skating is firmly rejected by Jim, who doesn't care to look like a bearded version of Will Arnett from that one bit in _Blades of Glory_. John's never seen it but yeah, he'd like to come over to Jim's to watch it some time. There's a huge ferris wheel, and even though John begs and wheedles until Jim relents and agrees to go on it, he still winds his arm into Jim's and clings to him in apprehension as they get closer to it. It's not the kind with the ancient bench seats Jim remembers from childhood carnivals but it's not the fancy capsule kind either. Instead they're led into a kind of cage affair, and he's already not looking forward to the wind nipping his ears as they climb higher and higher.

The look on John's face though...his huge grin and the way all the lights and baubles are reflected in those purple-brown eyes...Jim already feels like he would give John the moon just to make him smile, and they're only on the first date. Jim can handle a little chilly air for the sake of that smile.

He guides John to sit down first, before he contorts his large frame through the gate and sits opposite, not wanting to seem presumptuous. John gives him an odd look before standing up as best he can and kind of crab-walking his way around the cage to dump himself down next to Jim. Or rather, practically on top of him, smiling up at him and raising an eyebrow. Jim gets the hint, wrapping a long arm around John's shoulders and pulling him close. John practically purrs.

They stare out at the city, with its white blanket on the rooftops melting into slush on the pavements below. Icicles drip tears onto people walking by the market, oblivious to the merriment contained within the green picket fence around the square. Jim doesn’t linger on them, but he hopes winter will be as good to them as it has been to him. So far at least. 

The little whine John lets out when he has to extricate himself from Jim's warm embrace when the ride is over makes Jim smile. He's all smiles right now. Not just cos he's enjoying himself, which he _definitely_ is, but just - because of _that feeling._ It hits him every year, usually in late autumn, but it's different when he feels it and it's a feeling _fulfilled._ Like it's not some kind of nebulous nostalgia for once, but actual real life happening right then and there. If only it were possible to immortalise a moment, like a synesthesia-packed photograph. 

John’s vegan and doesn’t drink, but he adamantly insists that Jim indulge in some bratwurst and mulled wine while he has a vegan sausage and hot chocolate. After, Jim buys John a vegan chocolate crepe from a food truck that’s just shy of being too hipster to function, and licks a smudge of the filling from the corner of John’s lips when he can’t resist anymore and just _has_ to kiss him. Their cold noses brush against each other to be warmed by cheeks red and hot with excitement and desire. And there it is, that feeling; it doesn’t have a name but it just feels _special,_ romantic. Something that even if things don't work out, Jim will always remember because it's sewn itself into that part of his heart that stores moments like these. They shut the cold out with their embrace, and Jim falls a little bit more in love with his favourite season.

There's something about first kisses in winter...

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> dysphorie.tumblr.com


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